Archive for the 'both sides' Category

musical battleground?

I’ve watched American Idol relatively devoutly for the last few seasons, despite certain friends’ disdain and derision. And while I watched the finale today, Kris vs Adam (or boy next door vs Goth rebel, as some have called it), I was thinking about music, musicians and pop culture. Personally, I have very indiscriminate music tastes – I listen to everything from Western Classical to R&B. And time and again, I’ve come under fire from people with, possibly, a more refined ear for music.

Pop, as I understand it, is looked down upon because of its “commercial” origins – bands and artists sing songs written by other people. I can understand why bands like NSync and the Backstreet Boys are preteen indulgences that we grow out of: their music is temporary, their sentiments mostly “synthetic” and their appeal is situational. They work and re-work cliches in order to make millions off the sentimental hankerings of people across the globe, fair enough.

The two finalists on American Idol this year, quite appropriately, represented opposing perspectives of American popular culture: the boy next door, Kris Allen was, I think, condemned to being written off because of his modesty and his self-effacing attitude despite his (yes, believe it) considerable musical talent. He took big, mainstream songs and effectively put his own stamp on them – changing melodies around, singing in his own style and managing to convey his sincerity through someone else’s words. Adam Lambert, on the other hand, seemed to be cast in the mould of the original American (adolescent) rebel, what with his Goth look, the much-talked about eyeliner and his unusual and admittedly astonishing vocal capacities.

While I thought both of them deserved to win, I did lean slightly more towards Kris, merely because he’s got just the sort of voice that I’d want to listen to, all the time. Adam, on the other hand, demands a certain incessant attention, a level of musical involvement that I just cannot give. But Kris’s docility and tendency to be less – well, attention-seeking – than Adam made him an easy target for being labelled “mainstream”, “pop” and that most undesirable of all positive labels, “Christian”. Adam’s alleged homosexuality also made it easy for people to say that America’s conservative middle class voted against him on the basis of everything other than his musical talent.

While I completely do not agree with the above assessment, I must admit that perhaps the above did happen, that Adam was disadvantaged because of his much-touted rebel image. But so what? In the end, both of them are different people, they’re allowed to believe in and represent different perspectives, just as we’re all allowed, individually, to conform and rebel as we see fit.

The problem arises when either one, conformity or rebellion, become the new norm. What we don’t seem to understand when we idolise either is that by simply adhering to one, or loudly declaiming the other, we ourselves are guilty of an opinionated bias – the very same bias that we’re often attempting to distance ourselves from.

So let me listen to my random assortment of music, while you listen to whatever it is that you want to. And if you feel moved enough to attempt to enlarge my musical vision, feel free. I’ll try anything.

lamplit

I want to go on a long drive, listening to music. Alone. Thinking is so much easier when it’s abstract like that, poised between purposeful encounters. You never know where you’ll end up, or even if you do, you don’t know if you’ll actually get there in one piece. That feeling of being – helplessly suspended – for even half an hour, is bliss.

I’m not sad. But I’m not ecstatically happy either. Reality is less shaded with rose tints, and more abundantly blue, brown and grey. You don’t know where you’ll be, what accusations will be thrown at you, what judgements made, what pressures put, what deals struck, what life-changing meetings occur – you’re just there, and something or the other will happen. You can’t stop, you can’t let go, you can’t get out.

Sometimes, I wish there was a method to the madness; a big puppet master pulling at our emotions and reactions and desires, shaping the way he/she wants to. I’d give up my freedom, but I’d feel better if the responsibility for my actions was with someone else – with no effect on myself.

I’m tired, I’m sleepy, I’m numb, I’m full of food and I’ve had my fill of drama for one weekend.

The road goes ever on…

rain.

I love the rain. Somehow, it makes everything better.

It makes the fact that I’m bored and alone without you seem a little less hard.

It makes me feel a little happier to be alive in a beautiful, heartless world.

I think the action that would be the truest expression of what I am right now would be dancing in the rain. With no shame, no want, no fear, no doubt.

Are we meant to be static individuals, with no reason or inclination to change because of the people around us?

I’m firmly of the belief that everyone you come across, in some way or another, changes you. For better or worse. I know I would be very different if I hadn’t met all the people I call my acquaintances, friends or enemies today.

More to the point, you change when you love someone. You allow them to make of you what they will, over time, moulding you like clay with fingers that could on a whim, break you or make the best of you.

Frightening, I suppose, to let someone have that sort of control or influence over you – but in my eyes, that’s the only way to love truly or completely.

So I’ll wait.

this is home

Sometimes, I just can’t say the things I want to say out loud.

Perhaps I’m scared; afraid of sounding too stupid, of letting you in too much, of giving away so much of myself that I can’t be whole again.

I may not be very communicative; I don’t make empty statements professing my undying love and I don’t say all the things I’m probably meant to say.

But I hope you know that these last few weeks have been the most perfect I could ever have asked for.

They have been, like everything else in my melodrama-filled life, quite mad but quite, quite beautifully simple when it comes down to the most important thing.

I don’t know how to say all that I want to say, except with the words I write here.

I suppose it’s just very hard to let go and let yourself feel, to trust in the hope that you won’t end up in the dust, to throw your fears to the wind and immerse yourself in it, when all your life you’ve told yourself that you don’t deserve much.

absence

Dull sublunary lovers’ love
—Whose soul is sense—cannot admit
Of absence, ’cause it doth remove
The thing which elemented it.

But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.

-”Valediction: Forbidding Mourning” – John Donne

————————————————————————

Empty days with fleeting moments of pure contentment in the company we keep. I didn’t think it would matter so much, but it does.

Muffled voices, hurried declarations, that funny, half-wistful pang that stays long after your voice is gone.

It’s a taste of what it could be like.

Everything becomes simpler; more intense and less real when you have to say everything you want to say in less than ten minutes.

“I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could
Can’t take my mind off you”

- “The Fear You Won’t Fall” (Joshua Radin)

Next Page »


glimpses of kindred spirithood

Moody, guilty-pleasure pursuer. Time-traveling and unabashedly opinionated book lover. Alternate reality inhabitant for life. Allergic to realism. A heart-sleeved, candle-lit rainy dinner romantic. Unapologetically snooty people-person. Ridiculously naive, permanent twelve-year-old with variable musical tastes. Incurable chocolate addict, with a penchant for movies that induce tears.

Blog Stats

  • 10,131 hits

I Spy

Which Jane Austen Gentleman is for you?

Mr Knightley

Mr Knightley

Mr. Knightley. Emma's George Knightley is kind and thoughtful, but not above telling you something was "badly done" when you get a bit above yourself. He started off just being a compassionate friend, but in time you'll realize you're in love with him.

Which Georgette Heyer Character Are You?

Judith Taverner

Judith Taverner

Young, wealthy and beautiful, you are looking forward to your first season, which has all the earmarkings of a marvelous success.

Which Harry Potter person are you?

Archives