Monthly Archives: February 2012

but now it’s just another show, and you leave ‘em laughing when you go

[Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell]

I first heard this song when I watched Love Actually. I don’t listen to it all the time, or even frequently, but in certain moods, every word she says appears impossibly, painfully true.

I’m dramatic, it’s true. My inner life outshines my outer life in variety, richness and extremity of emotions. So yes, I tend to spend a lot of time contemplating, debating and analysing things to pieces in the confines of my head. This will probably never change, no matter how many years and birthday cakes pass. Anyway, the point of this isn’t to shine the spotlight on my inner drama queen.

As clichéd as it sounds, it takes a whole lot of courage to live by your convictions and the more days I wake up to, the more this message is driven home. And I suppose, when circumstances make you feel like it would be so much easier to give in, a great deal less painful to go along with things, even if you aren’t convinced… that’s when you have to hold on for dear life.

Because without those convictions, beliefs, delusions and hopes, what chance have you got at living an honest life?

I need something more. Something stronger, something so irrepressibly vital that it brooks no diffidence or doubt. Anything else would just be wrong.

Also:


Strangeness and charm

[If you haven't listened to the title song by Florence and the Machine, do! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFpKwQBkJqQ]

There could be nobody more dysfunctional about romance than I. No, really.

For someone who reads a lot of literature steeped in the culture of sentimentality, romance and the marriage plot, I’m astonishingly awkward when it comes to the mundane business of real people. If there was a list of what not to do, it would probably be a description of my exact behaviour in any situation approaching the romantic. Ugh, even the word ‘romantic’ makes me break into a cold sweat.


York.

I’ve long wanted to write a blogpost about one of my favourite places in the whole world: the city of York in Yorkshire, England. I was lucky enough to have Soumya studying at the University of York the same year I was at Edinburgh, and I spent a considerable sum of money on return train fares to York and visited her at least four times. Everything about York screams ‘OLD’. Okay, that’s a really inelegant way of putting it. What I mean is, I could smell history in the air from the moment I stepped off the train and into the Victorian railway station.

York was the biggest city in the north of England in medieval times. It is a walled city, and one of my favourite things to do when I visited was walk on the city walls, where in ancient times soldiers defended the city from besiegers.

The whole history of the English is visible in York: the Romans were, there, as were the Vikings, the Anglo-Saxons and the Normans. Heck, there are even Indian restaurants run by Bangladeshis now (I’ve been to one). I’ve seen Roman walls, medieval church towers and the ruins of Norman houses. I’ve wandered into churchyards and walked through the Shambles, which is a street whose name is derived from the old word for meat shelf, because it was the location of the meat market. York has seen William the Conqueror’s wrath in the harrying of the North, the Peasants’ Revolt, the Pilgrimage of Grace and suffered the dissolution of the monasteries by good old Henry VIII. It was near York that the Battle of Stamford Bridge was fought by the ill-fated Harold Godwinson. Guy Fawkes was born in York, as was WH Auden.

And of course, there’s the Minster. York Minster towers above everything else, and it’s impossible to take your eyes off it when you’re in the vicinity. It must be one of the most beautiful buildings I’ve ever seen, because every inch of it is so intricately carved, so precisely proportioned that it arrests you and doesn’t let you turn your gaze away. The first time I saw it, Burke’s definition of the sublime sprang to mind effortlessly because that is exactly what it is.

And once inside, I kept running into familiar things: Edward III and Philippa of Hainault were married here; the chapel of the Duke of Wellington’s regiment is here, with the names of cities in every country from Spain to the Indian subcontinent wrought into the grilles; but my favourite thing inside the Minster has to be the screen consisting of statues of the medieval Kings of England. I had endless fun trying to figure out who was who (William Rufus had slightly red cheeks; John looked terribly evil):

Each time I visited York, I came to the same conclusion (which I promptly proceeded to state to Soumya, even though she’d heard it before): I could be blissfully, perennially happy if I lived in York. I’d make trips to Betty’s tea rooms, I’d walk around the Minster and through the Snickelways, I’d do my shopping in the weekly markets and I’d lie on the grass in the Museum Gardens, among the ruins, and read my life away. I’d visit churches – old and new – and wander their graveyards, I’d go to theatre performances and concerts and I would be content.

York always filled me with pure joy.

There are few places in the world I would say that about, but I would never object to adding more to my list :)


call it what you want

I’ve been listening to Chammak Challo on repeat and I have to say, after about 120 times successively, it’s beginning to lose some of its charm. I’ve been blogging with incredible frequency of late, but coming after a period of relative silence and reticence, I can only be happy about this sudden return to loquaciousness. Because, after years of brainwashing myself into thinking I’m a shy, retiring wallflower, it has been forcibly brought to bear on me that I’m not really cut out to be a wallflower. God knows where this aggressive and opinionated personality mushroomed from, but I really can’t shut up any more.

Shokhi’s married! Nattily dressed, S, A, Jay and I journeyed all the way down the ECR to her wedding on Sunday, and spent most of our time there attempting to keep our sarees in order (well, Jay and I did. S and A did not have sarees to contend with) while pursuing food wherever it appeared and sneaking glances at Shokhi shimmering on screen. After a while, we gave up any attempt at watching the ceremonies and just disappeared towards the food. Of course, once there, we sat about and did nothing till the buffet was overrun so we were forced to stand in long, long lines. S was probably the only one of us to do the food any justice.

Notable events: a large bug flew into my hair and I managed to extract it with minimal screaming; S was very pleased with all the hot milk on offer; I ate large purple grapes at A’s urging and managed to break a barrier that’s been in my head since I was about 9 against eating grapes of any colour other than green; we all stood in line (some with less good grace than others) to wish Shokhi and had many interesting conversations against the soothing background noise of Bollywood music. It became harder to hear as we got closer to the stage, resulting in amusing mistakes like A thinking I was asking S how many lovers he’d had when really, I was just asking him how many lovers Krishna’s believed to have had. I also switched from a Lord of the Rings themed wedding (which was my original plan) to a period costume party (the period of your choice, obviously). I’ve already decided that I’ll have reason to change three times during this wedding – an Elvish robe, a Roman toga and a Victorian ball dress – so all that remains is finding a man crazy enough to go along with this plan.

I went to Mainland China for dinner with Jay, A and S (three out of the five people I work with) on Monday night and it was a happy, fun, talkative dinner that left all of us with the pleasantly uncomfortable sensation of having eaten rather too much. Conversation swung from medieval literature to Singapore, the Hindu’s strike back at the TOI, dying newspapers, season 2 of Sherlock, and inevitably, work. Highlights: Somnath’s strenuous retrieval of the cherry at the bottom of his fresh lime soda, an effort that was in vain because the cherry fell out a bit too quickly to be caught and could not be eaten any more; the disappointing chocolate fondue that was accompanied by fresh fruit – including grapes prettily cut into flowers, but who cares about those! – and duly lamented over.

I’ve said this before, but it bears saying again: I absolutely love being able to work with such an interesting and varied bunch of people who never fail to be funny, wise and ridiculously clever. It almost sounds too good to be true, right?


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