Sometimes, I just can’t say the things I want to say out loud.
Perhaps I’m scared; afraid of sounding too stupid, of letting you in too much, of giving away so much of myself that I can’t be whole again.
I may not be very communicative; I don’t make empty statements professing my undying love and I don’t say all the things I’m probably meant to say.
But I hope you know that these last few weeks have been the most perfect I could ever have asked for.
They have been, like everything else in my melodrama-filled life, quite mad but quite, quite beautifully simple when it comes down to the most important thing.
I don’t know how to say all that I want to say, except with the words I write here.
I suppose it’s just very hard to let go and let yourself feel, to trust in the hope that you won’t end up in the dust, to throw your fears to the wind and immerse yourself in it, when all your life you’ve told yourself that you don’t deserve much.
